Thursday, March 20, 2008 ♥

i think i may be too observant for my own liking. it's like making my life more untolerable. ha my strength has become my weakness too. sian

it's like, on a bus/train/streets, the people passing by me...
i look and observe how they dress, how they behave, how they carry themselves;
i listen to what they say, how they converse, their unique voices.

and i think (some examples)...
woah, this girl's so smart/so confident/so attractive (be it looks/character etc)/so happy
wow, this guy's so thoughtful/so sweet/so attractive (mostly looks :P)/so intelligent
then...

the comparison comes in.
although pple always say, don't compare with others la...blah blah
but, it just happens la..just happens..

first, will admire
then, will be envious
next, will be jealous
finally, will come sadness

you'll be surprise..even the most "plain jane" girl I can also feel inferior to.
not to mention those who excel at their studies, or one thing or another.
nothing surprises me that much now, i know that i just lack in everything. ha
i may pick up skills or information quicker than others, but, there's always a but..
i remain stagnant after that. standstill. not moving. not improving. perhaps even deproving. ha

i think too much?
i bother too much?
i dislike myself too much?
i shut myself out too much?
i did too many wrong things?


probably.

Sunday, March 02, 2008 ♥

♥♥♥♥